Dirty Kristi

Oh for fucks sake! Are you serious?!?!

So, I just received a message from somebody whose blogs I follow because this person cracks me the fuck up…
I had been corresponding back and forth with “said person” and was starting to get that little tingle in my panties that you get when somebody you think is hot is actually giving you the time of day…
I’m a nerd like that-when I open this letter….

Date: Jul 18, 2008 2:11 PM

hey, how are you?

I wanted to ask you something. After I added you, I heard rumors- plenty of those here- that you aren’t the person in your pictures. Some even said you might be a profile set up by a male blogger on here. I enjoy your blogs and your funny comments. I want to just ask you whether the rumors going around are true.

I know you just met me and I am not anything to you, but I value all the friends I add here and I like to address anything that comes up.

Thank you.

WOW!
That will kill a Girl-Boner!
At first, I was kinda shocked…I have alot of pictures up, and nobody has ever asked me if it was really me, I think because my pictures are so incredibly corny…like the car ones, where my friend Tommy, the Drifter, wanted to have shit to pass out at his races…I didn’t give a fuck, I will do anything for my homeboys, they are my best friends.
Or the ones I took for Some Fetish thing, I can’t even remember the circumstances, somebody asked, it sounded like fun, I didn’t have shit else to do, so I posed…
The funniest thing is I just changed my profile pic to one of me standing in front of a Urinal in a tattoo parlor and I think the caption says, “Thanks to the Dr, I can FINALLY pee standing up”
Dude, I am sooooo not a boy! I love being a chick, I’m raunchy, I burp, fart, smoke and drink, and I think what most guys like about me, besides my ability to titty-fuck, is that I will watch porn or sci-fi with you while you caress my hot legs…I will buy you a beer, I will tell the jokes that make your Dad blush, (If you’ve known me since high school, I will smoke your dad out…ahem…Ryno…*cough*)
I am known for being the approachable chick, don’t get me wrong, I can be a bitch, but 9 times out of 10, it was your fault buddy….
Anyhow, I digress…I’m not the least bit mad about this, I think it is ridiculously funny, especially because, the person I “supposedly REALLY am”(scabs) is a giant fucking douchebag who can die of siphilis for all I care…
I’m actually kind of honored that my blogs are getting read enough to get me gossiped about! That’s so fucking rad, because, upon entering this fine community of bloggers, I was a little nervous, and sometimes scared to comment, but you all have welcomed me so warmly…you accepted me, as raunchy as I am…
It kinda makes me feel like high school all over, where I’m the slutty funny freshmen, and while I will never be as popular as the cheerleaders, you will remember that I’m the girl you had fun with when the other kids were doing whatever it is the cool kids do…
As far as my Screen Name goes, I didn’t intentionally jack it from Bad Lisa, I didn’t even know her when I made this profile, I just became a fan of hers about a month ago or so…I think she fucking rocks though, and reading the way she uses certain people as her verbal punching bags ALWAYS makes me laugh!
I go back and forth with my screen names…
For any of you that care to know, my real name is Kristi, and I have a shitload of nicknames and screennames from friends, which include, but are not limited to;
Kristi Kreme
Jesus H Kristi
Milf 2.0 User Freindly (because I’m a tech geek!)
Farty McFartpants
DirtyKristi (that one has a website attached to it too, I ‘ve had it for a few years and keep tearing it down and putting shit back up, ask my older friends, they will vouch for that)
Krusty Kristi
Krustaceans
The Notorious V A G
Naked Blue Alien Cunt
and for the apps that I get addicted to and try to turn my friends onto…
Spam Anderson
there’s a few more that I can’t really remember right now…lol
my backup profile is
www.myspace.com/skattagirl
and for the record, I don’t have shit to hide, everybody in my top friends is either a real life friend for over 5 yearsf or family, and they know I’m all woman…tattooed, white-trash, fart-lighting, fake-titty having, cussing, pissing in parking lots with my skirt down….WOMAN!

I smoke like a chimney, ugh…such a nasty habit….
And, I used to be a stripper, but I retired at 25, LOL…and just because I’m a bitch, I will even post the top part of this picture of me with the ballgag, so when you compare the blue one you should be able to tell it’s ME! I play with photoshop too kids, Just not to create fakeass profiles…that’s really my hot little body, and if oyu look closely enough, you will notice the lack of a NUTSACK!
I’m not posting my naked ass without a photoshop filter though, so blow me…